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Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately.


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Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date.

The four first message dos and don’ts

Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message. Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself.

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Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating. Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing.

40 FUNNIEST TEXT MESSAGE FAILS

Whereas as over confidence can often be a turn off in a first message. Using the words, awkward, sorry, and apologise gets better results when sending a first message to a woman but not so to a man. Our favourite part of the job at Soulmates is collating the success stories we receive from happy couples that met through our site.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

Skip to content The Soulmates Blog. Author The Soulmates Team Share. Tone down the Netspeak Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. Ask a Question Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. Let God take a back seat Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.

You would think I was annoying.

Exactly What To Say In A First Message

Which is maybe judgmental of me! But there you go. You are a fascinating person with a broad range of interests and accomplishments. You have included them all here. Think about the real-life parallel: You would share just enough information to intrigue her.


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Cut the length of your profile in half. Think that when you meet someone you really like, who really likes you, you will have plenty of time to discuss your hopes and dreams and favorite foods. In truth, there are a lot of women who are also looking for long-term commitment. But keeping in mind the idea that an online profile is like an initial introduction, bringing up a lifelong relationship as a goal on first online encounter might scare a lot of people.

Online dating? Learn the first message dos and don’ts

Omit your future plans here — if you and a potential partner have a future together, you will have plenty of time to bring it up. One personal question is cute and fun; a list of personal questions can feel like too much work. Think conversation starters, not an entire conversation. You just need one good one. Get help making your profile work:


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